Artificial Intelligence

Deborrah Cooper on This Whole Fix a Man a Plate Before Kids Thing

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  • "Fix A Man A Plate"
    If a woman continues to 'fix' everthing for a man, chances are he is going
    to eventually be with another woman … someone who is less busy at
    fixing everything. If a woman tells herself she is making sure to be the
    best cook and​ hostess for a man, chances are Martha down the lane can
    be a better cook and hostess. Sooner​ than later that man will be by Martha
    eating her better food and licking his fingers, we can only guess what else
    he will be "licking!"

  • Funny you never hear other races of people argue about this bullshit. If I go to my parents house for dinner they make my plate for me, and I'm grown as hell. When my dad cooks he makes my plate. When my parents came to my house for Christmas dinner, I made my mom and my dad's plate. Sometimes we do buffet style and everyone makes their own place. Only niggas feel like they have to be served first. My father never acted like this. We were never a religious family though and me and my mom are atheists, so that probably has a lot to do with how we view things. This is a serious problem.

    If I'm dating someone, and I'm cooking, I make both our plates at the stove and bring them both to the table at the same time. It's equal opportunity here. If I'm at his house and he's cooking for me I expect him to prepare my plate. I guess the person who is hosting the meal can take the initiative to serve the plates. But if we're at a big family gathering or picnic, that negro can make his own plate, those are usually buffet styles anyway. This all goes back to the black male being disenfranchised in the outside world so he feel like he needs to be put on some type of pedestal since he was born with a penis. Doesn't have shit to do with being a "breadwinner" cause most women are making their own money nowadays. These niggas just feel like they need to be higher than somebody, their frail ass egos keep them taking losses.

  • What?! As a teenage girl who often prepares dinner for the family, my younger autistic brother gets served first (because he isn't capable of serving himself), then my grandmother if she's not serving herself (she prides herself on being independent), then me. My father always fixes his own plate. I remember one time I gave him his plate and he looked at me like "wtf are you doing?" I can't remember my mother ever fixing a plate for my father. It has never occurred to me that I should fix a plate for my man when I grow up. I didn't even know this was a thing until now smh…

  • "You don't feed your children some ol' bacteria-laden scrapings from the mouths of adults.  You know the people been licking p*ssy and suckin' d*cks…."  LMAOMs. Deb, I almost died laughing- for real.

  • You think that it STARTS and ENDS with just "A damn plate?" No Ladies, GF, SIDEChicks, Wifey, it doesn't, and your daughters are watching you really well and so are your sons.

    So, it's usually all about: his plate, his clothes, his shoes, his this, his that, his every fucking thing, his emotions, his feelings, his happiness, his sexual needs, his wants, his desires, his bad day, his health, but what happened to his kids? I saw in my younger days women at these events or home gathering, they'd be rushing around like chickens with their heads cut off, like slaves to their masters. I was about 12 when i really noticed the Phuckery and by 15 or 16 was when I swear i'd never get married, NEVERRRR i said lol. "This is a lot of work being a wife", i said to myself. Some of these women i saw, they could barely even start eating and these ninjas want mo food, mo drink, mo this, mo that… wtf.. when does the serving/slaving stop?

  • Why can't set a table place the food on the table and pass the food around and everyone dish their food and eat together. Sit down to each like for real. I through my cousin a baby shower, she asked her sister in law "aren't you gonna make my brother a plate" SHE WENT THE HELL OFF ABOUT HIM NOT BEING SHIT and what's does he do! It was a hot damn mess she was hurting it was sad.

  • Growing up, my father fixed our plates. Then sometimes he fixed my moms plate and sometimes she fixed his. My other has never done laundry unless he was away( he was active duty military). They both cooked and cleaned and we had chores. EVERYTHING was a household effort.

  • I half disagree here, now i had a friend who's white girlfriend (from white azz indiana) was raised to do this..and he was a [email protected] about it.. he actually expected it… she would even do it for me when i came over and he expected her to pick it up too when done..one day i was over there and i was like [email protected] this.. i like getting mine served and all, but i had to get up myself and put it away. So i feel you for the [email protected] like my friend who demand it [email protected] them (they babies).. but the man who doesn't.. is the one you should do it for, well if you're smart. Cuz guys like me??!? the woman who bring me a plate or just offers just to be nice… this woman immediately rises to the top of the wife list.

    Maybe i heard wrong.. but it sounded like you seem to think its a black thing…This is not a black thing… women of every other race who are homemakers/wives in majority serve they man 1st as a matter of protocol…. we in majority are the ONLY ones along now SKRONG women of other races) think it's logical to not do this.

    Its petty.. do it. you were handing food out anyway.. to the same people and same time.. so it take ZERO…ZERO effort to give him is 1st.. to not… means you CONSCIOUSLY..CONSCIOUSLY overlooked him as the head of the home… not only did you do this in front of him, you INTENTIONALLY did it in front of his kids. So in one moment you showed dismissal to your husband and told the kids he doesn't deserve that respect too.

    If he his the bread winner or a good man worthy of breadwinner respect.. But like they said its not fully about the woman , its the symbolism of something more, for they relationship (which it helps).. its an unconscious psychological message to the children and him of who runs the home… daddy does…not them. The purpose of this is to show.. structure and developed the respect for me.. this has fallen off since "women's lib" and as you can see by the majority of children today.. have no respect for men.

    GO HUNGRY?!?!? Negro please.. them lil [email protected] can wait 5 minutes for a plate… THAT POINT IT ABSURD! Starve, lack nutrition?!?.. really deb.. REALLY?!? :/

    What i would do as a modern woman.. is ask my man if he wants me to grab his or the kids 1st…

  • Oh Ms. Deborrah, this mentality is a mess. It goes beyond the man in your house and who you are sleeping with. After my dad's funeral, we went back to my parents house. We were all exhausted…physically, mentally and emotionally. Thank goodness people brought over a lot of food for us and visitors. One of my uncles had the nerve to ask me to fix his "buddy" a plate. This nicca didn't even know my daddy and I didn't know him from a can of paint! I stood there and looked at both of them like they were straight up crazy. His "buddy" just sat there with his chest out like he deserved to be served by me. Only and I mean ONLY because I did not want to disrespect my mama's house or my daddy's memory by causing a scene, did I fix this ninjah's plate. But I fixed his behind a kiddie plate and had a look on my face like "I dare you to say something."

  • This is so strange, more black dysfunction. If a woman has two hands she can carry two plates to the table at the same time, one for husband and one for child, done! Also there's nothing wrong with a man and child making their own damn plate after mom, auntie, grandma just did all the cooking!

  • Oh god, my mom and my grandma taught me this shit from infancy. My mom would run around getting my stepdad's plate together, getting him hot sauce, iced tea, napkins, silverware, AND seconds before she ever once got around to making mines, let alone hers. You know what that taught me? To make my OWN goddamn plate around the age of 9. Yeah, I was an "independent black woman" as a young girl. What was my mother's reward for all her years of plate-fixing and "service"??? Oh, he cheated on her, laid hands on her, had outside babies by younger women on her.

    The lesson? Fixing a man's plate won't earn you shit. If your man wants to eat elsewhere he WILL eat elsewhere and have a feast while doing so.

  • My kids have always eaten first and that goes all the way back to when I was in the hospital and these nurses brought my food in and I let my plate sit there while I fed my baby first. I have no issue getting a man a plate if… a) He asks nicely, b) He is incapacitated in some way and needs help. But just thinking he is entitled to a plate first esp if there are young kids in the house? HA ha. Nope.

  • I still love this video lmao. I had to pull this out my library for the girl's at work. One just got married and there was some confusion about this, so i said hold up! I got something y'all need to watch lol. Thanks for these gems.

  • How am I just now seeing this? They think he will cheat? Lol my man makes me a plate and I serve him too. But if I had kids? My kids are eating first! Plus men eat more so hell naw. Plus most of these niggas are not providers anyway? Head of household?😂😂😂 Yep we had the kids table too.

  • You’re going to LEAVE because you don’t get served first, before those who CAN’T serve themselves, like kids and the elderly? Well…bye.

  • When I was married and in the church, while at a gathering at an older woman's home, she told me when I come to her house I better fix my husbands plate first. At this time, I was pregnant and my oldest was 2, so I fixed my daughter's plate first. I was so young and naive, i felt bad and embarrassed when that woman said that.

  • I didn’t even realize this was a thing. So petty. My dad always eats last. He’ll let you eat the last of whatever it is even if he wanted it, he’ll say he didn’t and to go ahead and eat. But I’m also Nigerian. In our culture children eat first. I mean why is a grown ass man’s ego so fragile that he MUST eat before children! His own children too! Ridiculous and pathetic. I mean most of these people live in first world countries…you’re going to eat, you’ll literally get your plate in a second. You aren’t starving like that

  • I realize that a lot of religious minded people are not following the Bible, they’re following the non-written rules of Christianity that was orally passed down over many generations for so long that they assume it’s in the Bible. Most only read the Bible verses selected by their preacher therefore they really don’t know how crazy they sound. This is why I believe that most that are a part of religion are heavily delusional.

  • Um,my kids plates are prepared and served first than mom and dad fix last and sit together at table….Always have to make sure my kids have everything before we can sit down and get comfortable…

  • This is so stupid, who made this crap up? Probably some wife beating ass man. My children eat first. If you want to leave because I didn’t fix your plate first , good bye. I am not not your mama.

  • In the military, the lowest ranking soldiers eat first with the highest ranking officers eating last. As an Army officer, I was the last to eat, b/c I was in charge and was supposed to go without to ensure that my men got fed. This “feed the man first” thing actually makes me lose respect for them.

  • In my early years, I grew up in Jersey around Italian Americans. This was big with them. The sisters served the men first, their dad, their brothers, their uncles. The sisters were second moms, even if they were younger than their brother. I've never witnessed this personally as a thing with black people. I heard old people are supposed to get served first, but that's about it.

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